Hello dudes and happy chinese new year. Celebrate for the time has come again when we embrace the bounty of chinese cultural goodies bestowed upon us on this happy day, a.k.a the ang paos and the snacks. Slept at a rather monstrous hour doing my art assignment, and I know this because a certain nocturnal creature of the night fell asleep before me, a remarkable and rare occurrence that will probably never happen again save for copious amounts of red bull. To all art students out there: jiayou for art assignment, and try not to feel too sad that I have finished it.

Woke up at some horrifying hour this morning, surprisingly refreshed despite the dearth of sleep. Despite my scouting constitution I have never been, and never will, be able to survive on 4 hours of sleep. If you can you are either a) a monster or b) sleep in every lecture, though probably more of the former seeing as i do the latter practically everyday anyway despite a healthy 7-8 hours of sleep each day. Yes, I am a lazy sloth. poo poo.

Went of to the temple first thing in the morning before proceeding to some relative’s house. As for how exactly I am related to this relative I do not know, and recall nothing despite visiting them each year save the fact that her house has a talking fish which sings chinese new year songs. The fact that the thing I anticipate most about these yearly visits is saying hi to the talking fish seems to speak rather sadly about my social skills. Ah well.

Next we moved on to my grandma’s house, shook hands with a bundle of relatives I rarely see save one or two and sneaked off into the toilet to do my business, and by that i mean finish watching the last 3 mins of “Music and Lyrics’ on my brothers ipod classic without appearing like an antisocial misfit. After that I scooted out and went to chat with my cousin, on various fun topics like which dota hero has the highest strength gain.

Following that, we went to another relatives house, the big big one where I had a buffet lunch which included suckling pig, that rarest of delicacies. I took the prescribed two pieces, chomped them down in a few seconds and watched as my cousins poked at theirs’ wincing with each spurt of oil that accompanied their prodding of the unsightly looking piece of meat. Gallantly sensing their distress, I offered to dispose of the meat for them so that they might escape the embarrassment of wasting food when hungry children in Africa are drinking ditch water for lunch. I suppose all you cynical folks out there are dismissing my kind attentions, calling me an immoral, shameless greedy, meat chomping lard machine. Shame on you.

Haha, so I am an immoral, shameless greedy, meat chomping lard machine. Sue me.

Following this rather sumptuous lunch, went into some aircon room where me, laodi and cousins played a few rounds of blackjack. Being a motley brave and foolhardy crew, laodi and co. happily took cards on 16s,17s and 18s leaving me to rake up the moolah. Halfway throughout the game, our ears were suddenly racked by a horrifying, tortured, ear piercing scream.

“AIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!! AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEE!!!””

*bam* door flys open. Father and Aunt dash in.

Father: “What happened?? Everyone ok?”

Auntie: “Fa shen she me shi????? Mei shi ma???”

Stunned into silence for a moment, all of us just mutely stared at the perpetrator of the wilhelm scream.

With a sheepish glance on his face my cousin held out two cards, and said very softly: “black jack?”

*second stunned silence*

Aunt: “Oh, erm.. ok. ok…….yeah ok..”

And with that they both strode out of the room looking thoroughly confused.

Far be it for me to suppose how winning 20 cents in a game of 21 could incite such heart palpitating excitement but I shall take note never to play bingo with him in the future. My heart can’t take it.

After that we went to my aunts house, stoned there for an hour or so, went home, bathed and left for vegetarian dinner.

The restaurant was in Coronation Plaza and the food was mostly damn nice. Its damn amazing how they can make stuff that looks like and tastes like meat but is actually vegetarian. As my mind struggled against the universal childhood rule that all veggies taste like crap, I found myself enjoying not only the mock suckling pig (I ate this with a great deal of guilt free relish I can assure you) but the normal vegetables also. Kind of contrary to the whole greedy, meat chomping lard machine image I know.

After dinner we went home, and I played an hour or so of black jack and poker with my family, bringing my total winnings for the day to a hefty 15 dollars. Laodi is the shittiest poker player on the planet. His poker face is the equivalent of a mind reading machine. Daigor as usual acted like the scum of the earth he is and cheated his way to a hefty sum as well. Well done daigor, I see the rigours of army have neither whittled the craftiness of your mind nor cleaned the decrepit pits of your filthy soul.

Kk, then, off to bed. Blogging is a cathartic process. Been feeling angsty for the past few days for a few reasons. But as I have promised myself, I shall not angst on my blog to random people I might not know, so suffice to say I am feeling rainbows and sunshine again, and this morbid and unnatural pimple on my personality is fading away.

Tata people.

Wombats are cool.

Napfa approaches. I shall get SBJ C this year and finally claim my gold. If I don’t, slap me.

Not too hard.