Greetings. I have been gone from the blogosphere for a grand total of 5 days, and today I make my grand return. Yay.
Now that your rapturous applause has ended, i shall go on with a brief description of what happened in the past 5 days.
It was time for jobweek again, that once a year event where scouts go around the island badgering various people for jobs and contributions. As usual, every year we get a whole sackful of strange jobs, ranging from choosing 4D numbers, running to the roof and doing a cheer and chasing a cat away from a terrified auntie. In defense of the auntie she was a pretty small woman and it was a pretty big cat. A baby shere kahn sorta kitty. And it had a pretty terrifying mewl. I hereby confer upon myself a brave chicken award for volunteering to carry it away.
This year was different though, in that i didn’t have to do jobweek any longer. had to bring the Sec 1s around instead. Deciding to save time by bringing them somewhere close instead of distant far off lands like Tampines and Yew Tee.. (ahem ahem), I brought them to my estate instead. After the arduous trek up Mount Braddell, we reached my block. giving them a brief run through on what to do, i sent them on their way, following closely behind.
Sec 1: “I am a scout from jobweek, we are having our jobwek, any jobs for me to do?”
Random Flatowner A: “no”
Sec 1: “then can you GIVE ME a donation!”
Me: “imser imser imser =.=””
After that, i told them to be more polite and say it in a nicer way.
Second Sec 1: “goodmorningiamascouthavingjobwweekdoyouhaveanyjobsformetodo “
Random Flatowner B: “har???”
Second Sec 1 “wouldyouliketomakeacontribution?”
Random Flatowner B: “har???????????????????? What toking you???”
Second Sec 1 “nevermindthankyou“
Me: “imser imser imser =.=”””””””
Third Sec 1: “GOOD MORNING SIR! I am a SCOUT from RAFFLES INSTITUTION. We are currently having our ANNUAL FUND RAISING EVENT jobweek, do you have any JOBS for me to do? “
Random Flatowner C: “No”
Third Sec 1 “Perhaps I could sweep your floor, arrange your shoes or bring down newspaper?”
Me: “Wah, not bad not bad.”
Random Flatowner C: “Sorry, no”
Third Sec 1 “Then in that case would you like to make a small contribution?”
Random Flatowner C: “Sorry, no”
Third Sec 1 “THANK YOU very much, have a NICE DAY!”
Me: “Imba, imba”
Third Sec 1 as he walks away: “F***!”
Random Flatowner C: “…………”
At this point i started frothing at the mouth and spasming around on the floor.
After my fit ended, I gave them an extended extended lecture on how best to approach such situations. After that it generally went ok, and I went to follow around the slower Sec 1s. Upon ensuring they were doing ok, i decided to go down to my house and rest, not noticing the scout shoes inside. Stepping inside i threw my bag on the couch and grabbed a drink from the fridge, turning to meet the stunned expressions of my Sec 1.
Sec 1: “Eh, imser u just walk inside like this your own house.”
Me: “…. =.=””
Finding the whole thing quite amusing, I decided to see how the others would react to the same situation. The next Sec 1 arrived 5 mins later, and i told him to come go in and try asking for a job. Repeating the whole sequence of walking in, doing random stuff like sitting on the couch and grabbing some snacks, i still elicted no response from the Sec 1. Going one step further, i propped my legs on the table, asked my mum to help me make one cup of milo and turned on the computer. Oblivious to all these, my Sec 1 continued working, accepted the money and left.
Following him, I asked whether he noticed anything wierd.
Sec 1: “no wad…”
Me: “No meh? Did you know thats my house.”
Sec 1: “Oh, no wonder. i was wondering why the woman seemed to know you”
Einstein, that one. I acted like a hooligan from some cheap Channel 8 drama series, asked my mum to prepare a drink, turned on the computer and basically acted like I lived in the house (which i did) and all he can notice is that my mum looked like she recognized me. =.=” haha, i seem to be doing that expression alot recently.
After a whole lot of other tom foolery and nonsense, we finally finished jobweek for that day. Calling my younger brother, i was disappointed to know he had not continued in the oh family tradition of owning jobweek and had a measly amount only. Ah well, there’s always next year. Laodi, jiayou…
Went back to school to count money and debrief, before finally walking home to enojy a good night’s sleep.
Started out in the morning bringing the Sec 1s around as usual, though nothing much interesting happened. After that had to accompany my Sec 2 to some guy’s house. he told us some night before that apparently some old boy had offered him 300 dollars to build a mini structure out of ropes for his kid in his HDB flat. Finding this to be a bit weird (Who gives a kid 300 bucks to build a playground for his kids in a HDB flat), we decided to send me along just in case the man was the Bishan 156 marn.
Upon reaching his house though, I found out many things.
1)It wasn’t 300 dollars, it was 150 dollars. (haiz…)
2)He wasn’t an old boy, apparently “A scout from Ireland” was misheard as “a scout from RI” (=.= Ahwell, i blame the accent)
3)He didnt live in a HDB flat. More like landed property. Or a mansion. Or an estate. Perharps a continent would be a better term.
To put things mathematically, HDB flat : his house = something very small : something very big
Reassured that he was wealthy enough to afford the pitance of a 150 dollars (his breath mints probably cost that much), we accepted the job and started sawing off the bamboo i nhis plantation to build the structure.
2 hours and alot of hard work later, we finally pocketed the 150 bucks and made our way back to school. At that moment since I was in the area, I called my friend and asked her whether she could return me my charger.
“I’m not at home now, but very nearby, come join us!”
After that I left his doorstep and made some long long trek. The sun was hot and i was getting dehydrated but after much huffing and puffing i finally made it to his front gate. From there it was but a short walk to where my friend was. Upon reaching, i went to find them and was greeted by a chorus of laughter at me in my scout uniform. I’ll have you know its a dignified uniform, with a strong cultural heritage, long and meaningful history and a 150 bucks in its pockets. If nothing else respect the moolah at least.
“Eh, can pass me my charger?”
“Oh, I never bring here lei, I just asked you to join us.”
For like the hundreth time… =.=”””
haha, but that one was my fault lar, should have clarified first. After that proceeded on home to drop of my filthy scout uniform for cleaning first before going back to school. After climbing the peak and almost reaching my house, i started smsing my junior and fell into the drain, spraining my ankle. haiz… that had not been my day.
Nothing much else happened that night, went home, got an early rest, and prepared for the imba owning session that was SUTC.
Kk, thats all for now, too tired to blog about the 3 days of SUTC, and my post will prob end up too long anyway. tata for now.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Grandpa: In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.
Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes the chicken crossed the road, but why he crossed, I’ve not been told!
Colonel Sanders: “I missed one?”[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]